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This story explores suicide, including a husband’s struggle after his wife took her life. If you are at risk, please stop here and contact 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for support.
GREENWOOD — Every day, the thought crosses Chris Dishman’s mind. It might only last for a few moments, other times longer. Sometimes multiple times a day.
“There’s an analogy I saw once of a box with a ball in it,” said Dishman, the former college All-American offensive lineman and eight-year NFL veteran who coaches offensive line and track at Greenwood High School. “In the beginning, the ball is your grief, and it hits all the sides, hits it all the time. Pretty soon, that ball shrinks. It’s still there but it’s not, ‘Ding, ding, ding,’ and bouncing around like a pinball.”
Dishman, 50, knows he will never have the answers. There are no answers to the “Why?” that haunted his thoughts when high school sweetheart and wife of 23 years, Audra Dishman, took her own life on Aug. 13, 2019. There were no signs, nothing for Dishman or their children, son Tim and daughter Taylor, to help them understand the tragedy.
Dishman, a native of Cozad, Neb., was living outside of Lincoln, Neb., at the time. Dishman, who starred on the offensive line for two of Nebraska’s three national championship teams in the 1990s, moved back to his home state after his NFL career ended.
But in the months after his wife died, Dishman could not go to the grocery store without someone asking how he was doing.
“Being from Nebraska, being a Nebraska football player, people know you and it’s just a part of it,” he said. “It’s what they have there. I felt like the elephant in the room. Everybody stared at you, wanted to ask how you are doing. I never got away from it. You start becoming a hermit, going shopping at 10:30 at night when I knew…
Source link : https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/finding-healing-coaching-retired-nfl-085055545.html
Author : IndyStar | The Indianapolis Star
Publish date : 2024-10-23 08:50:55
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